Those Who Return by Kassandra Montag

Author:Kassandra Montag
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Quercus Editions Ltd
Published: 2022-03-08T20:14:27+00:00

She didn’t invite us, but we followed her anyway and I detected a hint of pleasure on her face when we stepped inside.

Today the cabin smelled like sweet, decaying fruit. A large stockpot steamed on the stove and Oksana rushed past us toward it, commanding us to sit. Ezra’s eyes darted around the cabin while I pulled paper out of my satchel for him. Dried rosemary and lavender hung from an exposed beam in the ceiling, tied together in bunches with twine. Glass jars full of crushed herbs lined the open shelves of her kitchen.

Oksana knifed chopped ginger into the pot. Ezra raised his eyebrows at me and then tilted his head toward the stove.

‘We’re curious what you’re making,’ I said.

‘Medicine. Elderberry syrup,’ Oksana muttered, stirring furiously. She scooped up dried berries and dropped them in the pot. ‘Send it to my grandchildren.’

This was the opening and I almost let it pass by, eager not to incite her, wanting to win her approval more than I cared to admit. But I shored myself up and nudged a toe into the roiling surf. ‘How many children do you have?’

Stained red from the berries, fingers crooked in their joints, Oksana’s hands looked raw and injured. She wiped them on her apron before turning to me. ‘So, where’d you hear the gossip?’

‘I don’t mean—’ I stood up, hands out in front of me in a gesture of submission.

‘You’re not good at this.’ She crossed her arms and looked at the photographs by the fireplace. ‘I wonder if even you could have helped me then?’ She looked back at me like she pitied me, chin lifted in defiance, eyes burning, body tense as coiled rope. ‘My body made her and then my brain betrayed me.’

‘Postpartum psychosis,’ I said, fighting to keep sympathy out of my voice. Ezra hunched over his drawing and pushed down so hard, he broke a crayon.

Oksana poured honey into the stockpot. ‘They didn’t have those names back then. As if when your body makes someone, you can take care of them. It’s two different things.’

I apologized, but she waved away my words. ‘This is what you came for. You’ll keep buzzing around me until you pierce your way through. Fine. My youngest was born six years after my last son. My husband was always out on the ranch while I tended house. I felt strange with her pregnancy – fuzzy, confused. After she was born, I was in such a thick fog. Couldn’t see what was right in front of me. Got the shocks.’ She pointed to her wrists, where restraints would have been placed during electroshock therapy. ‘Helped after a while, but I started it too late. By the time I came out of it, Sophia . . . was already different. My husband said I didn’t tend her. Didn’t feed her, didn’t touch her. I don’t remember any of it. Other people tell me who I am, what I did.’

Oksana paused and rubbed her palm over her face. ‘So, she was different from my sons.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.